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• Spark plugs, spark plugs … they changed the aisles again!

• Where’s the Viagra? It’s grab-a-granny night at the club house tonight.

• President of the Mild Ones.

• Still growing old disgracefully.

• Which aisle has the f#cking Stage 1 kit?

• There ain’t no grease around here…

• I always wanted to ride my bike inside the supermarket, now I can and no-one bats an eyelid.

• The Aisle of Old Man TT

• Kitchen wares! WTF? I’m supposed to be in the bottle shop! Damn Alzheimers!

• I still ride wherever and whenever I choose!

• It’s not the age, it’s the attitude!

• Damn I should of put saddle bags on.

• When you need to feel the air in your hair!

• Officer, I don’t need my helmet in Walmart!

• Well they told me the Harley jackets where down this aisle.

• They can take my licence, but they’ll never take my three wheeler!

• Replacement parts. Let’s see, knees, hips, teeth …

• Senior Citizens Express Lane.

• Where the heck do they keep those Home Brand Super Tuners?

• Yep, was a tough choice – buy a Tri-Glide, or eat.

• Shopping basket crumple zone.

• Harley-Davidson has introduced a new range of electric bikes to meet the needs of its established clientele.

• I’d better hurry, this basket is squashing my meat and two veg.

• Albert, scanning the aisles for Metamucil, looking for that straight-through feeling…

• It might be a bit of a basket case, but at least it still starts in the morning.

• The Crustiest Demon.



And this issue's winner is:

• Mop and bucket to aisle six. There’s been an oil spill.

Congratulations Bente Ross, you’ve won a 1-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY magazine!