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• Two wheels always gets it.

• The controversial new Harley-Davidson Scooter, tested on animals.

• Outside litter trays.

• They forgot to trim bits off when they made these seat covers.

• When I told them to get some pussy they took it literally!

• If you ride a scooter, that’s the only pussy you’re gonna get.

• A pit bull must be guarding the Boss Hoss.

• That awkward moment when Ziggy realises it’s seat warming day, not ‘feet warming’ day.

• No helmets needed, we have eight lives to spare!

• Buy a scooter! It comes with your very own seat warmer …

• The new scooter attachment from Kuryakyn. Guaranteed to make your scooter purr …

• I have been a pussy magnet since I got the new scoot!

• Cat-astrophic events have lead to scooter riding!

• I know there’s a scooter rider and pussy joke to be made. Tabby honest, if I say it I may cross a feline. Don’t be so sensitive you lot, I’m only kitten.

• Copy cat seat covers.

• Meet the Catastrophe Riders Club

• Catalytic converters are now a option on some models.

• Lucky they aren’t on my bike, nine lives wouldn’t be enough.

• Be careful not to over-inflate the new Air Cat seat cushion.

• Not the pussy I had in mind for the back of my Harley…

• Who would have thought scooters could be pussy magnets?

• Just purring along.

• I hear that they run smoother after removing the ‘cat’.

• Scooters are for men who love the feel of the wind on their pussy.

• 4 out of 5 scooter riders are pussies.

• 1 per cent whiskers.

• Pat the pussy if you want a ride…

• Live to ride, ride to live, but only after a nap.

• The motors were purring.

• It’s cool for cats.

• Purrrrfect parking.

• If it fits, I sits…


And this issue's winner is:

• Warm, self-latching helmets…

Congratulations Brendan Vorst, you’ve won a 1-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY magazine!