Each issue we run our Caption Competition for readers in our popular Weird section. The winners receive a one-year subscription (6 issues).


Then enter your email address, name and phone number and click submit.

You can also mail your caption to:

Caption Comp
PO Box 96
Ascot Vale VIC 3032


• These new naked sports bike fairings are flying off the shelves!

• HEAVY DUTY’S new budget fly-ride package for Sturgis 2017.

• Don’t mind me, I’m an idiot.

• And who said motorbikes don’t fly!?

• Bugger lane-splitting, I’m flying!

• This idea will never get off the ground!

• Is it a bike? Is it a plane? No it’s Captain Insane!

• Hey Doc remember me! I’m the bloke that can ride like the wind!

• Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

• Call my brother in Melbourne, I’m on my way for a visit.

• But it’s not a bagger?

• More cutbacks at Tiger Airways.

• I asked the salesman to find me a plane-looking bike!

• Mate, get it into top gear and she flies!

• Man, this thing really flies!

• The speedo is in knots!

• This Red Bull fuel really gives it wings!

• Air Force they said! You will do well they said! Not happy, I said!

• Now where is that bloody Red Baron?!

• Get a glider up ya!

• What a lemon? Last time I buy off eBay, sight unseen.

• The Wright Brothers’ descendants, still trying to push the limits.

• Forget the Goldwing, introducing Honda’s new Redwings.

• Elon Musk directs his innovative genius towards two wheels.

• The flux capacitor should kick in about now!

• This is just plane stupid, but it might take off.

• The latest aerodynamic option from Japan.

• Hey Roger, look out your left window. Is that your son on his peewee? I wonder where he got those wings from?

• When I grow up, I want to be just like you, Bulldog Plane.

• And they reckon you can get this with forward controls, yeah right!

• I think I can, I think I can, said little Buzzbox to Bulldog Plane.

• Lying bloody dealer, “Add wings and she would fly!” What bullshit!




• Harley’s new tourer: The Ultra Glider.

Congratulations to Dave Beck. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!

Our cowgirl farmed in some hearty caption comps entries. Here’s a selection…
• So that’s what they mean by being on the bare bones of your arse!
• An udder case of mad cow disease …
• Handles like a cow, make no bones about it ...
• Dried up crusty old bikie riding a weird pushy
• I asked for a Harley Crossbones, but this is a joke lol!
• I just wanna jump your bones!
• Holy cow it’s friesian on this bike
• When they removed the bullsh*t from my Honda, this is all that’s left.
• I always wanted a bare bones Harley!
• Bad to the bone? That is udderly ridiculous!
• I’ve heard of flogging a dead horse, but this is ridiculous!
• Steer me left, steer me right, I’m on my Harley look-a-like!
• I told him, “it’s udderly ridiculous and that’s no bull. I can ride anything.”
• Udder chaos!
• Has a real boner for riding.
• Suspension on this thing is crap, rattles me to the bones.
• How’s this for a custom Cowasaki! 
• There’s nothing sexy about skin and bone. You gotta have some junk in the trunk.
• Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• Should have slowed down when I saw a sign saying “Caution: cattle next 5km!”
• Nana Mouskouri goes Nomad ...
• That’s not quite what I meant by a “Bare Bones Chopper”
• That’s not a burnout behind me ... it’s bullsh*t
• Udderly ridiculous
• She always said she loved riding a good ol’ boner.
• She’s pretty and has lots of bones! And looks a bit horny!
• Nothing to see here, just a couple of old cows.
• Oh they have so butchered that bike!
Congratulations to David Clarke. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!Here’s what you thought about these wanna be bikers …
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