Each issue we run our Caption Competition for readers in our popular Weird section. The winners receive a one-year subscription (6 issues).


Then enter your email address, name and phone number and click submit.

You can also mail your caption to:

Caption Comp
PO Box 96
Ascot Vale VIC 3032



need a lift?

 • Hey babe, I’m running a bit late. I’ve got to drop off the blokes from work.

• We are on our way – pick you up shortly

• I’m on my way and I have heaps of room for you

• I’ll have the crew at site in five minutes, but I’m short of one pink hard hat.

• Beer o’clock time!

• Dunlop road test their new Khaki Volleys.

• Hey Fred, I think I’m being followed!

• UBER has started operating in Vietnam

• Mum! Bringing the boys home for tea.

• Sure Paco I have room for one more I coming now.

• Next lap we will pick up the kids and I’ll swap the phone for a tuba.

• What? One more to collect?

• Hello, welcome to Telstra, my name is David. How may I assist?

• Mobile office.

• Thai bike gang.

• Yes I have room for two more passengers. What is your pickup address please?

• Bike pooling.

• Yes, this is Uber.

• Yes Prime Minister, they all have the appropriate visas.

• RSL courtesy bus speaking, room for one more.

• Domino’s new multi-drop delivery service!

• Hang on, I’ll get him for you…

• Who needs a GPS? We know where to go.

• I have the tradies and I’m on my way.

• Getting five slabs of beer on the way.

• Uber in action and at it’s best.

• You installed an airbag, right?

• Can you hold on a moment, I’ve just spotted a huge potpole ahead.

• I’ve got this riding 2-up down pat!

• So that’s what a tailgater is!

• Okay, I can pick the kid up from kinder! He can sit on my lap!

• Where’s my bloody red hard hat!



• I have to go, Darl, there are four other people waiting to use the phone…

Congratulations to Kevin Brooker. A one-year sub to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!

Our cowgirl farmed in some hearty caption comps entries. Here’s a selection…
• So that’s what they mean by being on the bare bones of your arse!
• An udder case of mad cow disease …
• Handles like a cow, make no bones about it ...
• Dried up crusty old bikie riding a weird pushy
• I asked for a Harley Crossbones, but this is a joke lol!
• I just wanna jump your bones!
• Holy cow it’s friesian on this bike
• When they removed the bullsh*t from my Honda, this is all that’s left.
• I always wanted a bare bones Harley!
• Bad to the bone? That is udderly ridiculous!
• I’ve heard of flogging a dead horse, but this is ridiculous!
• Steer me left, steer me right, I’m on my Harley look-a-like!
• I told him, “it’s udderly ridiculous and that’s no bull. I can ride anything.”
• Udder chaos!
• Has a real boner for riding.
• Suspension on this thing is crap, rattles me to the bones.
• How’s this for a custom Cowasaki! 
• There’s nothing sexy about skin and bone. You gotta have some junk in the trunk.
• Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• Should have slowed down when I saw a sign saying “Caution: cattle next 5km!”
• Nana Mouskouri goes Nomad ...
• That’s not quite what I meant by a “Bare Bones Chopper”
• That’s not a burnout behind me ... it’s bullsh*t
• Udderly ridiculous
• She always said she loved riding a good ol’ boner.
• She’s pretty and has lots of bones! And looks a bit horny!
• Nothing to see here, just a couple of old cows.
• Oh they have so butchered that bike!
Congratulations to David Clarke. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!Here’s what you thought about these wanna be bikers …
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