Each issue we run our Caption Competition for readers in our popular Weird section. The winners receive a one-year subscription (6 issues).


Then enter your email address, name and phone number and click submit.

You can also mail your caption to:

Caption Comp
PO Box 96
Ascot Vale VIC 3032



get to the chopper!

• Another off the planet custom from Alien Ness.

• What are you looking at? Nicholas Cage never had this problem in Ghost Rider!

• No, the bike wasn’t designed like this. This is the result of a smash up.

• They said my pipes were too loud, but they couldn’t find them amongst this lot.

• When you look like this you never have to worry about anti-association laws, coz now-one will associate with you – not even me mum.

• Now where did I install that starter switch again?

• Want some candy?

• Another out of this world custom (no, I really think he is out of this world).

• Riding is universal.

• Found it round the corner. Does it suit me dreads?

• Where’s Arnie now?

• Dating profile reads: comes with accessories, may contain sharp bits.

• You’re what? Booking me for no helmet?

• What do you mean I can’t ride with me mates? I’ve come 2000 lightyears to ride these awesome roads in Queensland!

• I is lookin’ fer the president of the Pink Power Rangers MC. Seen her lately?

• I thought you said, “Get building a chopper!”

• What? Haven’t you ever seen a Honda CB350F with an accessory kit before?

• I’ve seen Brum lookin better after a big night on the town.

• Chreathator ingredients: chrome, leather and predictor.

• Predator MC on a club ride: “Switch to invisibility boys, we’re about to cross into Queensland”.

• Don’t give me that non approved helmet BS. This is my head you moron!

• All this, and I ran out of money to put on a decent front wheel ...

• Next week on Alien Biker Build-off ...

• A Wild Hog? Which planet are you from?

• Hey, why hasn’t this thing got any skulls on it!?

• Quiiick! Get to da choppa!



• Campbell Newman, your 11:30am appointment is here to discuss bikie laws.

Congratulations to Aaron Wynne. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!

Our cowgirl farmed in some hearty caption comps entries. Here’s a selection…
• So that’s what they mean by being on the bare bones of your arse!
• An udder case of mad cow disease …
• Handles like a cow, make no bones about it ...
• Dried up crusty old bikie riding a weird pushy
• I asked for a Harley Crossbones, but this is a joke lol!
• I just wanna jump your bones!
• Holy cow it’s friesian on this bike
• When they removed the bullsh*t from my Honda, this is all that’s left.
• I always wanted a bare bones Harley!
• Bad to the bone? That is udderly ridiculous!
• I’ve heard of flogging a dead horse, but this is ridiculous!
• Steer me left, steer me right, I’m on my Harley look-a-like!
• I told him, “it’s udderly ridiculous and that’s no bull. I can ride anything.”
• Udder chaos!
• Has a real boner for riding.
• Suspension on this thing is crap, rattles me to the bones.
• How’s this for a custom Cowasaki! 
• There’s nothing sexy about skin and bone. You gotta have some junk in the trunk.
• Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• Should have slowed down when I saw a sign saying “Caution: cattle next 5km!”
• Nana Mouskouri goes Nomad ...
• That’s not quite what I meant by a “Bare Bones Chopper”
• That’s not a burnout behind me ... it’s bullsh*t
• Udderly ridiculous
• She always said she loved riding a good ol’ boner.
• She’s pretty and has lots of bones! And looks a bit horny!
• Nothing to see here, just a couple of old cows.
• Oh they have so butchered that bike!
Congratulations to David Clarke. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!Here’s what you thought about these wanna be bikers …


Caption Comp 136
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