Each issue we run our Caption Competition for readers in our popular Weird section. The winners receive a one-year subscription (6 issues).


Then enter your email address, name and phone number and click submit.

You can also mail your caption to:

Caption Comp
PO Box 96
Ascot Vale VIC 3032

tuff kid!

• Nice custom build dad, but how you gonna mow the lawns now?

• Harley’s new range for the younger market.The Toddler 883 MegaLow.

• Let’s roll, Dad.

• C’mon dad, let’s rumble!

• Pre-school babes, here I come!

• Yeah right Dad, next thing you’ll be wearing gumboots too!

• Baby, you got juice.

• Father’s will make any excuse to get out of mowing the lawn.

• Take out that motor now! I have told your mum for years, that mower wouldn’t start.

• No Johnny, you can’t nom with us just cause you have a hardass bike.

• Why you makin’ me wait? Let’s ride!

• Nah Dad, I’m old school. I don’t need a hemet.

• Johnny, I said pull start, not pull to start.

• Settle down mum, I’m just searchin’ for the fuel cock.

• Don’t lie Johnny, did you really build that with that with the Mechano set?

• Geez Johnny, is that all you could build?

• Somethin’ me and the boys knocked together at playgroup today.

• Mum said it would never start, if it is the motor from your mower, dad.

• Little Billy’s next donor motor upgrade? Seen sitting in the background.

• Little Billy’s bike builder is in his own class, “no school”.

• Okay, very funny, who moved my forward controls?

• Harley-Davidson and The Dum-Dum mam.

• This was in MY Kinder Surprise.

• Apes don’t make a bike Dad, see … this is how it’s done.

• I am not happy dad! The motor says Honda!

• My dad was bought up wrong, Softails are for softies.

• No nappies for this bad ass.

• Remember, we can’t ride into Queensland! We’re criminals up there!

• Stop mucking around taking photos, let’s ride!



• Mum’s gonna be pissed when she finds out why dad can’t mow the lawn ...

Congratulations to Brett! A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way.

Our cowgirl farmed in some hearty caption comps entries. Here’s a selection…
• So that’s what they mean by being on the bare bones of your arse!
• An udder case of mad cow disease …
• Handles like a cow, make no bones about it ...
• Dried up crusty old bikie riding a weird pushy
• I asked for a Harley Crossbones, but this is a joke lol!
• I just wanna jump your bones!
• Holy cow it’s friesian on this bike
• When they removed the bullsh*t from my Honda, this is all that’s left.
• I always wanted a bare bones Harley!
• Bad to the bone? That is udderly ridiculous!
• I’ve heard of flogging a dead horse, but this is ridiculous!
• Steer me left, steer me right, I’m on my Harley look-a-like!
• I told him, “it’s udderly ridiculous and that’s no bull. I can ride anything.”
• Udder chaos!
• Has a real boner for riding.
• Suspension on this thing is crap, rattles me to the bones.
• How’s this for a custom Cowasaki! 
• There’s nothing sexy about skin and bone. You gotta have some junk in the trunk.
• Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• Should have slowed down when I saw a sign saying “Caution: cattle next 5km!”
• Nana Mouskouri goes Nomad ...
• That’s not quite what I meant by a “Bare Bones Chopper”
• That’s not a burnout behind me ... it’s bullsh*t
• Udderly ridiculous
• She always said she loved riding a good ol’ boner.
• She’s pretty and has lots of bones! And looks a bit horny!
• Nothing to see here, just a couple of old cows.
• Oh they have so butchered that bike!
Congratulations to David Clarke. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!Here’s what you thought about these wanna be bikers …
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