Each issue we run our Caption Competition for readers in our popular Weird section. The winners receive a one-year subscription (6 issues).


Then enter your email address, name and phone number and click submit.

You can also mail your caption to:

Caption Comp
PO Box 96
Ascot Vale VIC 3032


sons of africa

• I never said measure them for a real ape!

• Hiding the Viagra in the bars was a bad idea

• They were right. One size does fit all!

• Okay now that we’re moving, how do l turn the bastard?

• Just swinging in the breeze.

• Hey guys check out my King Kong hangers, they are up there with the best of them!

• You really need to stop pulling things so hard.

• How stupid does that guy over there look with that helmet?

• A quick ride will sort out the sweat patches.

• No need stopping for fuel, I reckon we can s-t-r-e-t-c-h it a bit further …

• The view is better up here.

• Yeah, I won it off a gibbon in a game of poker!

• Mmm … what under-arm deodorant are you wearing?

• The I surrender bars were a big seller in Ethiopia.

• Maybe I should have washed that penis enlargement cream off of my hands before going for a ride!

• That’s why we call them Ape Hangers.

• It’s okay, Labor just won the Queensland election and they love us bikers.

• The long arm of the law in your own backyard.

• Duuude! What’s with the BO!

• Does it look like I’m over compensating for something?

• Did I tell you that they were giving a year’s free supply of deodorant with every set of bars sold?

• Thank God we have to stop for fuel!

• Nah, I don’t need fuel, I’ll just hang around out here…

• Foot clutch an optional extra.

• Do you think it makes me look taller in these?

• Do I enjoy riding? No not really, I just like hanging around.

• I bought it from Shaquille O’Neal.

• Nah, I’m fine with the ape hangers. It’s the suicide shifter that I’m worried about.

• Right turn, Clyde.

• It’s called freedom, man.

• My two favourite things are riding and chin-ups. Now I can do both at the same time.

• Yes, I come from Longreach.



• When you said it has extended bars, I thought you’d found a new pub.

Congratulations to Chris Hills. A one-year sub to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!

Our cowgirl farmed in some hearty caption comps entries. Here’s a selection…
• So that’s what they mean by being on the bare bones of your arse!
• An udder case of mad cow disease …
• Handles like a cow, make no bones about it ...
• Dried up crusty old bikie riding a weird pushy
• I asked for a Harley Crossbones, but this is a joke lol!
• I just wanna jump your bones!
• Holy cow it’s friesian on this bike
• When they removed the bullsh*t from my Honda, this is all that’s left.
• I always wanted a bare bones Harley!
• Bad to the bone? That is udderly ridiculous!
• I’ve heard of flogging a dead horse, but this is ridiculous!
• Steer me left, steer me right, I’m on my Harley look-a-like!
• I told him, “it’s udderly ridiculous and that’s no bull. I can ride anything.”
• Udder chaos!
• Has a real boner for riding.
• Suspension on this thing is crap, rattles me to the bones.
• How’s this for a custom Cowasaki! 
• There’s nothing sexy about skin and bone. You gotta have some junk in the trunk.
• Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• Should have slowed down when I saw a sign saying “Caution: cattle next 5km!”
• Nana Mouskouri goes Nomad ...
• That’s not quite what I meant by a “Bare Bones Chopper”
• That’s not a burnout behind me ... it’s bullsh*t
• Udderly ridiculous
• She always said she loved riding a good ol’ boner.
• She’s pretty and has lots of bones! And looks a bit horny!
• Nothing to see here, just a couple of old cows.
• Oh they have so butchered that bike!
Congratulations to David Clarke. A one-year subscription to HEAVY DUTY is heading your way!Here’s what you thought about these wanna be bikers …
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